'Undercover' lessons surface for female CEOs

The CEO?s waterworks probably made the boys in the boardroom wince.

After all, the ?guys on my team? had previously asked Dina Dwyer-Owens not to cry during speeches, she said. But when she listened to a female employee?s sob story in front of the ?Undercover Boss? cameras, she wept in prime time, in front of 9 million viewers.

?I thought I?d get bashed around about that,? Dwyer-Owens said with a laugh, referring to her teary moment on the Jan. 22 episode of the CBS program.

After some reflection, however, that brief bit of bawling became one of the dry-eyed lessons, Dwyer-Owens ? chairwoman and CEO of the Dwyer Group in Waco, Texas ? learned toiling on her company?s front lines, disguised in a black wig and ball cap.

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Lesson One: a female boss can shed an occasional tear and not lose her authority. In fact, Dwyer-Owens said, all CEOs, whatever their gender, should remain true to what they feel and how they express their sensitive sides.

?I decided, I?m not going to apologize for it,? said Dwyer-Owens, whose late father, Don, founded the Dwyer Group, a holding company for hundreds of home-service and home-repair franchises under names including Mr. Rooter, Mr. Appliance and Mr. Electric. ?I got my work ethic from my dad and my emotions from my mom. When I?m moved by something, I tear up. It?s just who I am. To pretend I?m not is just a lie.

?Sometimes we, as women (CEOs), try to be somebody we?re not,? Dwyer-Owens added. ?We think we have to have a certain fa?ade for the men in the room.?

Of course, ?Undercover Boss? is all about facades. The show?s producers put selected CEOs in disguise, then send them to work temporarily with unsuspecting, ground-level employees. The program has featured 34 CEOs. Only three of whom have been women.

Dwyer-Owens? friend, Shelly Sun ? co-founder and CEO of BrightStar Care ? became the second woman profiled by the show last April. Sun said she collected fresh wisdom as a high-powered mother balancing work and family.

?My perspective may be unique in terms of how hard it was to be away from my boys for 10 days during filming,? Sun said. Her company, based in Gurnee, Ill., helps older parents and grandparents remain in their homes with professional assistance.

?While I hate being away from (my young boys), I know they ? got to see how our company takes care of people in a way that I couldn't describe,? Sun said. ?Ever since (it aired), they do not mind as much how hard I work and how often I travel.?

?Shelly?s got the same determination I have,? Dwyer-Owens said. ?Nobody?s going to stop us. If there?s something in life you?re really passionate about but you?re afraid to do, don?t stop. It may take years to get there, but don?t give up.?

That was the second lesson Dwyer-Owens plucked from her TV exposure ? especially after hearing firsthand how tricky it is for one of her female employees to juggle a job, family and household budget. (That?s what prompted the CEO?s tears). Dwyer-Owens is married with two children.

The first female CEO to appear on ?Undercover Boss? was Kimberly K. Schaefer, who heads Great Wolf Resorts. Based in Madison, Wis., Great Wolf operates a chain of indoor water parks. Her episode was broadcast in 2010. And while Schaefer is a working mom, she told Forbes magazine that same year: ?I try not to differentiate myself from my male CEO counterparts.?

When msnbc.com asked Schaefer what enlightenment she had gained while incognito, she stayed gender neutral: ?One adjustment I?ve made is to take a step back and learn a bit from others. ? Try working in a department for a week. After a while, employees will be more comfortable to share their ideas.?

That echoes the third lesson Dwyer-Owens gleaned: ?I?m going to hear the truth in what people are saying and be honest with myself about it.? But the seeds of that foresight were originally sown in 1999, Dwyer-Owens said, when she was promoted at age 35 to acting CEO. After the move was announced, her plumbing franchisees took a straw poll and voted her out.

?They didn?t think I had (what it took to lead). It was due to age and gender,? Dwyer-Owens recalled. ?I met with the leader of the group and asked for six months to prove I was the right person. If I wasn?t, I was going to be the first person to walk away.?

The plumbers relented. And when the undercover CEO saw one of her female employees thriving in the male-dominated trades industry, it only reinforced her fourth and final lesson.

?Women shouldn?t sit there and be a victim (and blame their gender). That just drives me crazy,? Dwyer-Owens said. ?That sounds like kids crying. I realize there are some challenges. But I don?t know that women always take the initiative (to overcome those challenges in the workplace).

?Quit listening to the reasons why you can?t do it and look at the reasons why you can.?

Bill Briggs is a frequent contributor to msnbc.com and author of ?The Third Miracle.?

? 2012 msnbc.com.? Reprints

Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/46301055/ns/today-money/

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